2 men who met the same woman-- but got totally different results...

Good Morning Men,

Something very interesting happened recently. I had dinner with a
group of friends that I don't get to see too often. We were at a
local restaurant and in walked an attractive young woman. Suddenly
it was obvious that 2 of the men I was with knew this woman. She
came over to our table, said a quick & friendly hello, and went on
to the table she was being seated at.

As she stepped away, the two men that obviously knew her (who
happen to be very good friends) asked each other, "How do you know
her?"

The first one (Brad) said, "That is the woman I met a couple of
weeks back that I took home and she was so freaky in bed. She is a
complete ditz, but fun nevertheless. I think she must be a
stripper."

The second one (J.P.) laughed and said, "That is the woman I dated
a few months back that is an awesome and very talented plastic
surgeon. She is extremely successful for her age, but she decided
we should just casually date and also see others."

Everyone was laughing at the table.

How could two men (both friends) have such a different feeling
about a woman?

For starters, Brad is derogatory. He has complained for YEARS that
he can't find a good woman and that every woman he finds doesn't
have any ambition. He goes to clubs and picks up women regularly
(obviously without getting to know them very well), and his last 2
relationships have ended up being with very "clingy" and
unimpressive women (both didn't have jobs, and both of them had
more baggage than a sky cab).

When Brad talks it is all about him. He has a very impressive life,
but by always talking about it... he can't ever find out if the
woman
he is talking with also has an impressive life.

Now, J.P. on the other hand is a very congenial guy that will talk
with anyone, loves getting to know people, asks more questions than
he talks about himself, and isn't so derogatory. J.P. does not just
go out on the town looking for "one thing" (although that is always
in the back of his mind).

J.P. has dated several women that are very interesting, smart,
successful, and he remains friends with almost all of them and
still casually dates a few of them.

Because of his ability to "pre-screen" with his questions and his
congenial, non-threatening personality, J.P. has had better luck
with women overall.

Here is the funniest part though.... Brad is the better looking of
the two. Brad is way more successful than J.P. Brad drives a nicer
vehicle than J.P. Brad dresses nicer than J.P. Brad has a much
bigger and nicer house than J.P. But, when all is said and done....
J.P gets all of the better, more high-caliber, women!

Why? Because J.P. asks them questions and gets to know them. He
doesn't try to impress them and just tell them about himself. He is
congenial, he isn't afraid to approach people, he loves getting to
know people, and he is happy-go-lucky with a well-rounded, funny
personality.

Brad on the other hand enters a conversation with a derogatory
notion. He just talks about himself. He just expects the woman to
be "a ditz", or jobless, or unimpressive. Because of his past
failed relationships (that he still hasn't gotten over) his
"perceived reality" of women is skewed.

The moral of this story:

Don't assume a woman is "a ditz" (or a stripper) until you get to
know her. And, ask her questions... don't ramble on about yourself.
MAKE IT A WONDERFUL DAY!!

Shelley McMurtry