the Fountain Of Youth I: how to raise eq

Unlike IQ, EQ can be significantly raised. But it takes effort and a great deal of introspection. You need to be willing to rewire your brain and how you perceive and react to situations.

Here's a rough beginner's guide to becoming emotionally savvy.

1- Identify your feelings
Constantly tell yourself how you feel, with the three-word sentence "I feel..." If you feel mixed emotions, try to single them out, and rate their intensity ("I feel disturbed" or "I feel enraged"). Don't exaggerate or minimize them.

2- Take responsibility for your feelings
Don't look for external explanations for how you feel or make yourself the victim. Recognize that they're your feelings and try to understand why you feel this way.

3- Anticipate your feelings
Learn to recognize how you will feel after a certain event or action. Avoid doing things that you know will inspire negative feelings. Do this not only for yourself, but for others.

4- Ask people how they feel
You want to be able to tell how people feel without asking them. However, you have to first understand them before you can empathize with them. Listen to them without making judgments. Don't try to dismiss or invalidate their feelings.

5- Be less defensive
If someone says something about you that you disagree with, don't get defensive or attack them back -- these kinds of reactions demonstrate that you can't handle criticism. Instead, thank them for their honesty and focus on the validity of their comments.

6- Put problems into perspective
When setbacks happen and you feel the urge to get angry, think about how serious the setback really is. How much will the issue matter in 10 years? In 10 weeks? In 10 minutes?

resources from www.askmen.com